Friday, May 26, 2017

Victims of a Female Champion's Manipulations

“Oh! It's that girl!” Carl said.

“Yeah! It's the one who's called Pious Craving!”

“Yeah, I have heard it! But why is she called that?!”

“Well,” Conrad answered, “some say that it's just because she's horny although into piety, and that she likes to present it that way! But others have said that she's actually into insinuation about either her real name, or the name of a look-alike of hers!”

“Does anyone know who that look-alike is?!”

“Oh! That's some girl who is a master in couronne, who's name is something similar to that! Or else, perhaps, she is herself that master of couronne!”

“Okay! So it's she, then, who wants us all to fall for that she has an ass of her own, which is just as good as a faggots ass!”

“Yeah! That's her! ... It's that bitch who keeps pretending she should get along with us faggots so much that she doesn't seem to have actual yearning after men! That is she seems to be an actual part of gay male social life, and then tries to insinuate that it's us that her horniness is about!”

“Ohh! It's that kind of a bitch!” Carl looked thoughtful.

Yeah! That's it!” his friend answered, and looked at him. “I guess I got you a bit puzzle there!”

“Hmh! Yeah! I feel puzzled.”

“I'm not sure if there's anyone I know who actually can be sure about if she's the actual master of couronne, or if she's just that kind of dirty man-craving bitch who wants to blame someone who has a name similar to hers!”

“I see!” Carl said, still looking rather thoughtful.

“Well, anyway, you and I have a good relationship going, but she wants to get into it!”

“I see your point!”

“Even though I don't desire her - at all - I still feel kind of that I could be cornily getting into her, as if there was a need for her in the way I feel about people!”

“I know! ... I mean that's what I expected from you!”

Conrad looked a bit troubled. “Mmh! I guess you feel I'm not quite a guy to be reckoned with as as trustworthy as you would like your boyfriend to be?!”

Carl too looked a bit troubled. “I sort of meant that. But I also mean that it's not a bigger deal than that we can handle it the way we usually handle outsiders that I don't have any desire for!”

“We should, I guess, in that case, see to it that she can't get anywhere?!”

“Of course! But that's what I thought you already were doing!”

“Why do you feel that you can expect that?!”

“You usually seem to reveal such stuff for me in time for us to talk enough about it for me not to have to become jealous!”

But Conrad looked troubled. “We have to discuss a whole lot of things that I haven't been saying to ya!”

“I don't think so! Actually, I feel confident that you're quite obvious about such nuisances!”

“Don't pretend that you actually can feel safe about me!”

“But I can!”

“What the hell do you mean by believing I would - as surely as that - actually divulge everything you could come to need to know?!”

“I simply mean that I can feel safe about you - and that's all there is to it!”

But still looking troubled, Conrad answered: “In that case you don't even trust me enough to want to know what I can be about some of those nights when you're out playing bridge, and I go to those pubs where loads of people dig into me as a homo man to be taken for the kind of guy who might show them what they need of appreciation and sexual attention!”

“Then, if there isn't a belief in ya about yourself as trustworthy, then what the fuck are you doing being committed to me as the boy of your choice in the first place?!”

“I guess the girl who calls herself Pious Craving could be into that you and I should be quarreling, so that she could get into one of us - and perhaps even make us reconcile, and have both! I feel thereby that you and I should break up, but not - either one of us - get into that girl's circles, nor either one of us reassert her about what she wants!”


With that he broke up.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Ridicule and Reputation

“Chris!” Larry said, “We don't have any alibi for saying Andy is precarious about women! Because we'd be equally precarious - if it were up to them to determine who is precarious and who isn't!”

Chris giggled. His buddy seemed to be into pretending as if something about Andy's craze for women as if it were the same as their crazes against that the women seem clear-cut about who can know and want what (when and where). “It isn't they who should decide ho we are, and that is in the first place!” he told his old buddy. “Besides it's you and I who can be funny about them, and hardly they about us!”

Larry looked to the ground, seeming sort of serious, but insinuating something of a faint smug smile. “I find them to be funny about how we rivet upon ourselves as funny! That is, we can find ourselves to be funny, but we can't think about them as if they always enjoyed that as an amusement!”

“Larry! How can you say that to me! ... We're not being real funny about them without them being funny about us, but that doesn't mean they amuse us more than we amuse them!”

Again Larry insinuated a faint smug. “Even so, perhaps we can connect our minds to them and then be helpless in that they can insinuate something about us the same way we have been insinuating about them!”

“So what!? Then we can handle it!” He looked at his buddy with a air of both apprehension and mockery.

“It's ridiculous to say that they aren't being cleverly enough to have an air of that we can handle them more than they can handle us. But in reality we can't ever be handling them in a way even as clever as theirs about us!”

Chris' air of apprehension became slightly more serious. “Do you mean that we aren't clever enough not to ever ridicule that we realize that they pretend as if nothing about what harm they might be into doing to us?!”

For the first time Larry looked dead serious. “Yeah, Chris, yeah, I mean that!”

Chris swallowed. He looked around as if for an answer, he too looking really serious now. After a while he bent his head forward towards his old friend and whispered: “Then we don't have any choice but to ridicule their asses so much that they can't have a chance to ridicule us - and that is ever that it should be!”

Larry looked at him. Still very serious he whispered back: “Exactly! Thereby we also should always take for granted that they will ridicule our asses as long as we don't ridicule theirs!”

“I agree!” Chris muttered, now sitting sitting in an upright position again.”

“Do you know what?! We don't have any choice but to be evil with women, while they have the choice to be either good or evil with men!”

“Yeah, that's right, I suppose.”

Thereby the two buddies started ridiculing all the girls they hung around with, and to some extent also guys. This led them to believe they didn't seem quite intent on ridiculing women as intensely as they did, but rather that they just happened to feel that they were easier to kid about. Even so, to begin with Susan, and then also a few other girls started to ridicule the thought of realizing that Chris and Larry wouldn't be fancying mocking them intensely no matter what the circumstance. Thereby, each of the two boys lost his air of being good enough, and thereby his possibilities of presenting himself as good enough as a friend or so for new people he met.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Notions of What Real Is

“Gods!” Catherine burst out. “No, it's they that it wouldn't be! It's God in heaven and Christ who are divinities! Not they!”

“I feel there is nothing like a divinity in even Christ, if one cannot proclaim those people also be of divine power!” her friend Linda answered.

“Why?!”

“Because, they seem to be the ones behind that there is a possibility to always - or at least close to it - know what we have in God - or else to be able to work on being at least as good as they seem to be! ... I mean people like that teacher we had in the first three grades.”

“Then what do you mean by that when they interact, they don't seem to be anything but taking care of each others' wrongs?!”

“Because as they usually seem reliable not to wrong anybody, they can interact so that Godly development is secured. Moreover, they don't seem to interact for that on purpose!”

“So what?! Isn't that exactly what a God isn't?!”

“I say a God is in there, in their interaction, making them seem purposeful, although they aren't!”

“No, God does not!”

Linda looked at her as if for the first time. “If God doesn't pertain to influencing in those obscure ways, what do you mean by that Christ was there to save us, and at he same time he had to die on the cross just for the sake of our commitments to him?”

“It's because when we look at Christ and His suffering, then His commitment is even greater than all of ours combined, even!”

Linda sighed. “I didn't figure they would have brainwashed you this much at confirmation camp!”

“Brainwash?!” Catherine burst out. “How can you insult Christ by saying it's brainwash to even yield as much as I do to His divinity and grace!?”

“Okay! Let's say God resides in Christ and that we've got nothing to do with that he just seems to reside in the interactions between the people I mentioned! Then what do we have in that Christ doesn't seem to care about people who do not yield to acquiring the skills needed for receiving God's mercy?!”

But her friend looked indignant. “Don't ever try to fill me up with such nonsense again!”

“Look! It's not nonsense to say that what I speak of is reality, while you're relying on what people say there is in God and Christ!”

Looking even more indignant, Catherine proclaimed: “It's we who should abide by the rules of those whom He has already reached with His divine power! We have it in us not to ever need to have it seem like Christ hasn't been our saviour for two thousand years!”

Linda sighed again. “It's not us, but they, who pretend to be into understanding what Christ is about! I proclaim that you and I go study what Christ actually does want by having those three people seem to be of God, although neither one of them on his or her own accord seems to even be close to dealing with God with enough commitment to be trustworthy!”

Catherine looked at her. “Don't you get it?! Christ has been there for us so that one never has to worry about such things! That means that these three people can't be ruling our minds by their insinuations about themselves, nor even about their interactions with one another!”

“Thereby I proclaim that there has to be a commitment to Jesus in the interaction that goes on between people, sometimes even without either one of those people feeling that commitment him- or herself!!”

“Then how come that commitment doesn't surface to me even when I intend to put Jesus forward for the sake of having Him be the salvation necessary for their commitments to seem real about even proclaiming their realms of interest and thus their interactions be real about God?!”

“That's due to the fact that their interactions are so hard to believe to be Godly that your belief in Christ can hardly be enough for them to surface just because of the so-called good belief you have in that saviour!”

Looking very indignant, her friend looked at her and answered: “If that's your view on me, then here's what we have from now on: You are not my friend, and I can't trust you to be even one bit clear on how my commitment to God and our Lord Jesus the Saviour could benefit both you and even those three people!”

“I suppose you want to crush my beliefs in that things could work out God's way even without Christ already being there?! Supposedly it's Christ and him only that I should believe in, and then not even observe reality in any other sense!? How come you feel that it's Christ and not the social structures around us that actually guide us to intuition about what God cares for and what He will always be for us?!”

Her friend looked at her with disdain and the contempt only a religious person could feel righteous about having. “It's not evil to commit oneself to Christ! But it is evil to commit His teachings to the absolute nonsense of saying that some people's social structure or interaction with one another is too important for Him to be the salvation needed for us all!”

“Cath, how come they never seemed to be into Christ in the first place, do you think? It's not they, it's us - or else it's just you - who disdain the capability of having a morality be a virtue at hand - ... except for when it's a virtue at hand ... except when it's done only for giving Him all the credit for it!”

“I guess that when I was away to confirmation camp, you where out seeking the Jews that might teach you to argue like that!”

“No, I haven't been speaking to some Jews about it! It's not about them! It's about our commitments to Him, that great Jew, who died at the cross for our sake! Thereby there's not any excuse for you to scold me this way! There's no Jew in this, and even if there had been one, what would that have made of a difference for your opinion about what I have to say?!”

“I guess they have all brainwashed you then, those people you say interact, and those people who are in turn committed to the Jews!”

“It's not true that it's Jews that it's all about!”

“Then how come there's talk in you about God as nothing but a divinity of high strung stakes about His own dignity!? How come there's not the humility, according to you, in Him of being the divine power for us, who resurrects us by sending His own son to us?!”

“I guess it's because that seems real about seeing life the way it actually is, and not just into that nonsense of saying the church provides everything about what life is about!”

“We thereby have that you are a blasphemer on your own accord!”

“No! You seem to still not really get who I am! It's not I, it's you who's the brainwashed one! It's not they, those three and/or the others you seem to want to insinuate that about! It's not they, nor I, who want to brainwash people! Thereby, it's you, and not they, who are into sacrilege by proclaiming sanctimonious the dogmatics of authority and hierarchy!”

Her now former friend Catherine looked at her. “I see! And so I have to feel, you think, that they are into God just because they seem to be against that hierarchy that they all actually embrace! It is their embrace that it is, of Satan, that brings out the illusion - caused by him, and not God - that proclaims them to be the ones to be of God!”

“It's not you who get, then, that the three I spoke about don't get into any proclamations of themselves as Godly; they just are of God! They don't (like you!) need to proclaim themselves to be it! Thereby it's you and not I who have been brainwashed during the vacation!”

“Then I and not you have been led to the real teachings of Christ, which you call brainwash, but that's just because you don't understand anything about the real Christ, our saviour!”

“If that is so, how come then you have to say to yourself that it's Christ and not they who have anything of reality about them?!”

“That's because Christ has the absolute notion of reality!”

“Oh! It's that simple is it?!”

“No! It's not that simple! But that's all there is to say to someone who doesn't believe in the Christ that is after all there for us all to be our saviour and show us the way to the right way of living and so.”

“I don't believe that!” Linda said.

“Then you are of the devil! Thereby I will not have to speak to you anymore!”

“That's just out of fear of that what doesn't need proclamations can come to be seen as what it is!”

Catherine looked at her and said nothing. Indeed she said nothing to her ever again.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Reaching for Eternity through Relatives, Dead or Not!

Mother and son were standing in some fairly faint moonlight, before the building they knew his father had entered, and - almost certainly - not left. They both had intended to find what his spirit could say about his killers. But now the son seemed to have changed his mind.

“It sucks!” he told his mother. “There's no point in entering that building!”

She looked at him in disappointment. “Don't you get it?! If your papa's in there, we can perhaps find out about what happened!”

“I don't believe daddy's going to be alive, mama! I don't want to go in there and risk my own skin for the sake of finding out!”

She stood there and wondered, about herself, how she could feel so sure about it; but, even so, she somehow felt that she in her authority as a mother should instruct her son to go in there! “Even though there's at least a ghost after your dear old dad,” she reproached him, “you don't feel like caring to see to it that he can see to it that you and I learn what there was about these people, and how come they killed him?!”

“I'm sorry mama, but I don't feel that I can see to it that he can see to it that we learn from that he even might have a ghost in there! I can't do in there and risk that they discover it! And whether or not he has a ghost there is irrelevant for what they will do to me if they discover it!”

“Sorry sonny! But you and I have to go there! And we shall go in there now!” With that she lifted him to her chest and held him there, comforting him, the way a mother can comfort her son.

“I guess I can come along together with you, then, but we should not stay in for too long I think!”

“I'll see to it that your daddy speaks to me as soon as there's a possibility of tracing his spirit among the evil spirits in there, and insinuations from them! We shall, you and I, see to it that he speaks to us! If I can't, then you can! That's how it'll be!!”

“I hope so mom!” he said, almost sobbing, as she began to walk towards the building with him.

At the door she put her son down, carefully, instructing him to take it easy and not to run away, now that he was so close to the goal of seeing his father's spirit. He obeyed, and watched her use her hair pin to pick the lock. She was cunning enough to unlock it in about five minutes. Then, as she opened the door he felt a chill from inside. She held his hand and made him feel very ensured that she would manage to get the two of them out of there after they had contacted father's spirit and learnt from it.

Walking hand in hand, the two of them entered a living room, with a number of old framed paintings on its walls. Looking at one of them, the son said: “Here he is! They can spy on us unless we use that painting as protection!”

Boggled by his intuition, she smiled a bit happily, and then began to intuitively suggest for the ghost to appear within or at least close to the picture. After about two minutes, a ghost did appear in front of them. He said to them that they had to hurry, because he was going soon to be manipulated into not being able to know what was real and what wasn't. He said that even though he was protected by the picture, the murderers' intimidations against him worked strongly enough against his spirit so he would be unable to talk after about five minutes - or even less, he told them.

Whispering, they interrogated him about the killers, what they were after and what whereabouts they were using. He answered and she noted it in a tablet she had brought along for the purpose. After only about four minutes he began to fade away, and forty seconds later it was impossible to reach him.

The mother had fairly much information now, however. But she was missing one thing that was very important. That was where they were going to be when they wanted to strike against her, her son and the few others they had with them in this. Even so, she was rather satisfied with what they had achieved this evening.

While leaving the building her son asked: “Is daddy going to be gone from us forever after this?” He seemed pitiful while asking it.

“I hope not!” his mother answered, and even she felt a bit paltry at the thought of this perhaps being so. She thought for a while, then she added: “I suppose we can still have the intuition about him that we need, especially after this meeting with him!” Her son seemed a bit comforted by these words.

Upon this, they walked silently towards the gates when they heard a car approaching. In this, they knew that their intuition had been stronger than they thought it would be. In order not to be seen - at least not immediately - they hid in some bushes in the yard, away from the driveway, where a van entered soon after they were able to dive into the bushes.

The van did not enter the garage, but was parked right before it. Three people stepped out of it, two men and one woman. The woman had some quite garish make-up on, which disturbed the two who were hiding in the bushes from apprehending the ghost even by what they had of intuition about the father. Looking at each other, though, the two of them chose not to rule out that this change was only temporary.

“I'll watch them, sonny!” the mother whispered. “Meanwhile, won't you try to dig a hole below that fence, or something?!”

“Okay!” he said, and picked up a stick for doing it.

While he began digging, his mother watched their enemies. There were now four people outside the van, two men and two women. She kept watching, and saw one of the men open the van's back door, and she saw and heard the woman who had left the van last whistle.

Out from the van jumped three big dogs. They were obviously dangerous for the two in the bushes. Thereby, the mother cocked her gun as silently as she could. Meanwhile, her son was getting somewhere with digging a hole below the fence. “I can almost exit through it!” he whispered gladly to his mother, who still looked troubled though. “Good!” she answered. “When you can, go to the outside, and if it's not too frightening for you, please stay there and dig so that even I can exit there!” As she spoke her boy managed to move a rock so that he probably could leave right away, which he tried, and managed to crawl outside. But, meanwhile the dogs were running towards the bushes. The son saw his mother shoot two of them; one died the other was injured. The third dog stood and hesitated. It was some twelve yards from her, and, as it was dark, she would probably miss it. The boy kept on digging.

After a while, the mother had moved closer to the hole that her son was digging in. She was keen on still keeping an eye on the dog, which kept standing in the same place, though. But the people of the van were approaching, and they shone with flashlights towards the bushes. Two of those flashlights rested at the dogs for a while, and the people began mumbling things to each other about it. A third flashlight almost revealed where the mother was, but she was able to duck below a think enough foliage. After this she two began digging.

This she did for thirteen seconds her son warned her: “The third dog is charging!” She picked up her gun and was able to shoot it. But now the people too were approaching her, and the one closest to her fired her gun. It was not the woman with the garish make-up, but a someone with a style that could make her out as an owl, or something. Somehow she was the first one to approach the intruder. Two men who followed close behind seemed to be her backup. The woman with the make-up was not to be seen.

The mother gave her son her tablet, and asked him to run away and go with it to his uncle, who lived fairly close to this place. Her son obeyed, and the mother watched him leave on fairly quick feet. She turned around and saw, fairly near her now, a man closing in. She aimed her gone and shot him. This time the woman whose appearance was like an owl seemed to hear it. She was only eight yard or so away, and soon after fired her gun towards the mother, who was injured in the right shoulder. She, however, did not quite give up, but put her gun in the left hand, and shot back. But she missed, and tried again. This time she hit her, partly because she was now as close as five yards from her.

But the owl-like woman seemed still intent on hurting her. She fired her gun again. This time she hit her leg. And the other man was approaching as well. He fired, and his bullet hit the intruder in the head.

Meanwhile, the now dead woman's son was approaching his uncle's home. After a while he knocked on his door. But no one opened for about three minutes.

The boy began to sob. But a while after that, his uncle came to him through his yard, and smiled. “Oh!” he burst out with relief. “It's only you!” He looked happy, and soon after he opened his from door from outside.

Letting his nephew in, he asked him what he was about. The boy looked at him and said:”This!” and handed him his mothers writing pad. After the uncle had closed his door behind them, the boy explained: “It's my mother's notes from my father's ghost's words.”

The uncle looked through them. “Oh! They have pretended he should be held responsible for that mistakes can be made about which kinds of hardships might come about!”

“Yeah! He did say that!”

The uncle returned to the notes, and soon exclaimed: “Oh my! They also charge him for being into seeming to be clever at atoning against the mistakes that he allegedly is responsible for!”

“That's right! ... But, do you know what?! I think that mama gone to right now! I think she died while trying to escape through the small hole beneath their fence that I crawled through!”

“They have a hole beneath their fence you say?! And that it's large enough for a boy like you to just crawl through?!”

The boy sighed. “No, not that way! I mean I dug that hole for myself and escaped. She who is much larger, could not escape through it! She and I continued digging for a while, but then the people and their dogs found us, so she asked me to run away, and also to hand you her notes! ... But, uncle! I think she's died! ... Now I have no parent left in life, and the even though their ghosts perhaps can speak I will not be able to, I think, go to where they are, in their garden, her, and him even inside their house!”

His uncle looked thoughtful. “I'm sorry about all this, and perhaps I can arrange for you to be taken care of by some good enough substitute parents. As for myself I don't think I can take teh risk of keeping you here, as they might find out!” Then he went back to the notes.

After three or for more minutes, he seemed to have finished with them. But he sat still and looked very thoughtful and serious, for about two more minutes. Upon that, he said: “Okay, boy! I think I can arrange for you to stay with my cousin and her husband. They are interested in those who know something about how to interpret ghosts! And, after all, you did follow along there for the sake of helping your mother out with it, is that not so?!”

The boy looked a bit happy. “Yeah. She really felt I had to be there too!”

“Good, boy! Then I'll send you there! We'll just have to see to it that those people don't know where you're going! As for me, I'll stay here! Because, this is my home, and I know well enough how to defend myself in it!”

After a few days, the boy was transported to his uncle's (and mother's) cousin. After some more weeks, there was a message from the uncle saying that he had surveyed their enemies. Now they needed, though, to also bridge some gaps between themselves and potential allies against them. And a few years upon this, that was done. Four months later, the people seemed to have been defeated. After one more month, teh boy was able to go safely into the yard and house where he could speak to his parents again.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

For the Sake of their "Maturity"

This story is too mature  -  at least for very young readers  -  in that it is about the issue of maturing and maturity in a sort of quite dubious sense.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Hankering After Virtue of Attention vs. Hankering After Virtue of Truth

“Are you sure you really want that?!” he interrogated.

“Yes, I'm quite certain! Because they all insinuate for me that I am trying to get their sex appeal for it!”

“I assure you that they all might be after simply finding it in you that you admit to what your real preferences are!”

“No, I can't believe that would be what they aught to expect from me!”

“Then what do you think you are?! I, for one, could love them for actually giving me that kind of attention! Now isn't that what they actually should just seem to pretend they want all that much just because a guy like you seems to be into pretending to be a masculine kind of fellow!”

The other guy seemed to feel intimidated. A few seconds he just sat there and seemed to reflect over how he should judge the situation and the man he was talking to. Then he looked away, and rose from his chair and said: “There's something that you don't get about those girls in that they are as clever as you are at insinuating that they are able to stand for not being too much into sex to be real people!”

The other guy looked up. Looking a bit startled he stared at the guy who had just risen. There was a trace hatred in his eyes when he responded: “So! You think you can actually find yourself to be better than me - and even than some of those girls you've been talking about that you would like to - see to it that you can actually be with them more than just this causally?!”

“Conrad! I assure you they aren't what you make them out to be! But then again, neither are you! As a matter of fact neither they nor you have any confidence in caring to be smart at knowing what they or you are actually about!”

Conrad gave a slight smug giggle, which he quenched with slight bitterness. “Who do you think you are?! ... As I said!”

“I don't know who I am! But I do know that I'm not what you seem to be!”

The other guy rose threateningly. He seemed to be into a notion of having to fight over this. “Really?! Then how come you're so low as to feel that they are lower than one would expect when one is just a horny guy looking for some kind of appreciation!?”

The fellow he talked to peered at him in a solid enough manner not to seem quite frightened. He sighed. “Well, you're the one low enough to try to be into a fight right now!”

The other guy seemed a little bit nonplussed, hesitated for a moment and then sat down again. “Alright, I won't try to fight you over it - at least not right now.”

Thoughtfully the other fellow said: “I know know there's a possibility they all are hornier than they admit, because I notice, every now and again, that they flirt with me just to make me horny, and that is without me trying to get them to do it for me! ... That is they sometimes do it too eagerly for me to feel they don't feel desperate after a man's appreciation!”

“Yeah! Me too! So what's the big deal about that?! So what if they're horny enough to really want your, or any other guy's, appreciation?! What if they're just horny just in order to present themselves as real reliable creatures of the kind we know of as the sexy ones, and then try to charm you into admitting that they are as beautiful as the aspire to be?”

“[Sigh] I don't see it in them to actually try to be horny just for the sake of seeing much else in us but the types of simply horny men that they could use as instruments for their own lusts. It's not that they don't feel a lot better about themselves when they get into a relationship that is sexual that you think, is it?! I mean what then are you about with Tina and Maria when they obviously seem to be horny enough for screwing you for the sake only of sexual pleasure!? Cause, I mean: You even bragged about that!”

“So what?! They're just horny so that we can feel all the pleasure we want! And if they're not horny for you as well, then that'd be your problem for it! It's you, not they, who are actually too pathetic to have those kinds of sexual behaviors about you! It's you, not they, who are actually about making sexual behaviors not seem good enough for an occasion of man-to-woman relationships!”

“Then how come you and the others continue fighting about who wants who, and not like I try to settle for that it's just immature to keep on fighting about it?!” With that he ended the discussion and left the other guy.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Actual Appreciation ...

She looked at him. Scornfully she saw that he didn't seem to fall for the charm she had intended for him. But the scorn was intended for herself as well as for him; therefore she didn't feel guilty at all for feeling it. But to her surprise, he seemed to mind.

He looked at her spitted resolutely. The spit landed on the ground on front of his feet, and was intended to land there. She felt this proved that he wasn't too obnoxious to be viewed as provocative only; i.e. he probably wouldn't try to be dangerous to her if she didn't do anything to him. But she felt like not talking to him. Because he still did seem to obnoxious to be looking at as a friend - or even a potential one, because he didn't seem to mind that the spit had landed right in front of him as if it was intended to insult her about not being smart enough at charming him.

He, on his part, was feeling that she had been insulting him in the first place, not that he'd been looking for a charming or whatever or so person in her. It seemed obnoxious for him that she had seemed scornful against that she seemed lousy at caring for his care to seem safe enough to assume as moral enough for being into not caring very much if she charmed him or not. It seemed even worse for him that she didn't seem to feel even one bit guilty about it.

But she felt that he had no right to have that opinion about her. She was a girl who was supposed to be charming and cute so that those who appreciated that in a woman would be able to see that in her. Therefore she laughed scornfully once more, and saw in him a pending guy who didn't care to fancy her being as worth his appreciation as scores of others could. She thereby felt free from guilt and free from remorse about it. She felt that she had all the appreciation she needed and that he was just a more or less sillily frank and fairly weird guy. Thereby she appreciated her own inconsistency about her notions of coherency as though they were of honest and good moral. But he noticed this and developed a slow growing hatred for her ways about it.

Even though he had run into some other girls who had behave similarly, he didn't feel broken enough to ever give up on the notion of honesty being something else than what these kinds of girls could appreciate it as. It seemed to him that she sorted out moral as if it was her own, from the different types of facts and notions about life that she had to care about on her way into adulthood. She seemed to him to be appreciative of the notion of truth as something to be bargained for, not as something to view as real notion of what is real. The fact that she and a few other young women seemed totally sure of themselves about being seemingly moral forever for being that kind of fake seemed scary for him. He even felt shattered when she looked at him that way, looking as if she felt totally innocent after first scorning not only him, but also truth and what truth is about.

He thereby watched her and her friends as they left with an awe about the way they appreciated themselves. She, meanwhile, felt that she had just left behind a fellow who was unusually corny and unappreciative of the sense she had of herself as good enough for anyone to appreciate - not excluding the boys or men she might want to be appreciated by. She thereby felt she needed to talk to one her close friends about how to deal with this fellow.

The two of them talked later that night and decided to seem to be subjects of his scorn for no reason. This, she felt though, was not enough. They need to, she told her friend, seem to be appreciative of even his notion of how he views himself. They should have to, she felt, seemingly be into caring also for those who were to be viewed as outsiders - at least from their own point of view. Thereby, people would appreciate the two of them as both cute and as caring as they are cute!

“I guess we can take that kind of stands,” her friend agreed. “But I think we should also show them that he is absolutely not an interesting guy for us! Because we should not seem to be into those men who fancy us young girls to be what they should be dealing with. Instead, they should view us as better than that they could ever reach us - nor actually scorn us, for that matter!”

“Okay! ... To start with, then we could say to our parents that we've run into a guy who was superficial enough not to admit that what we are is what he shouldn't be minding as if there was any reason for him to care to tell us what we are to be seen as. Because there seems to be a notion in him of actually having it he is the one to be a fellow to appreciate.”

So they did.

Four months later, the two girls were at a disco and one of them spotted what seemed to be that same fellow. They noticed that the son of a friend of their parents was with him. This made them curious.

Thereby they felt like watching them now and again for the rest of the evening. Doing so they got he impression of that the guy who was a friend of their families was attempting to reveal the fellow as immature, and thereby shouldn't be there. This they found to be worthwhile, as they also could appreciate the notion of this guy being the same as the one they had complained to their parents about. But then, to their disappointment, they observed him say something to their friend-of-the-family guy, who, seemingly a bit unsure of himself, withdrew for a while.

When he came back, he said something back to the other one, which seemed to make him feel both indignant and insulted. But he reacted by insulting him back, it seemed, and soon the two of them were very hostile towards each other. After a few minutes of quarreling the two of them decided, it seemed, to continue it somewhere else. The two girls saw them leave the disco, each of them, seemingly, bringing a friend with him.

They decided to follow the four of them by stealth, which they did, and that lead them to a park, where a fight broke out between the two whom they had been observing. It went on for perhaps four minutes before the guy who's parents knew their parents was injured severely enough to no longer stand a chance. When that happened the two fellows who had followed along as friends discussed something for a while.

After a few minutes the two of them decided, or so it seemed, that the guy whom the girls had been troubled by had won. They thereby both pointed at him with respect and then the three of them left the girls' parents' friends' son bleeding and despised. This the two girls found to be scary.

They waited for about five minutes, then they also left, and began walking towards the house of one of them. On their way there, the other one said: “Wow, he didn't seem able even to reach his phone and call the cops or something! I wonder if we should be telling your parents about how we could have but didn't dare to be helping him - or else what else we should say!”

“Me too! I wonder what we are to be about now as we don't have a notion of what is going to happen to that fellow who after all helped us make that insultive guy seem like a bad person!” She shivered. “Wonders how he will survive, and if we've actually killed him by not staying there and saving his life!”

“I think we've better see to it that our parents get there as quick as possible!” Neither she nor her friend reflected much over calling an ambulance, because the two of them knew that the four guys had been into something that was sort of tradition not to tell the authorities about!

When they had finished their walk, they entered the house of the one of them who had felt insulted in the first place, As they spoke to their parents, they could not express what they found themselves to seem to appreciate about the guys who had been escorts and judges of the two fighters. They somehow felt that they needed to express that, but that they couldn't, because it was a secret notion of - so to speak - what went wrong in a man, that the two of them were about. Instead, the conversation emerged in describing the situation that the two of them had been stuck there, and couldn't help the fellow, which was partly because of their appreciation of those who had - by fair notions of what is correct for such a fight - deemed the guy they could have helped as a fellow to be left behind. Thereby, the two of them eventually decided to never speak again to anyone about how to resurrect a man who has lost a fight!

Two months later, the two parents (of one of them) whom they had talked to said to them that they are to be sweet and good for the sake of not seeming to be involved in that the two guys fought, nor that they had been insulting each other. Instead of explaining for them why this was important, they told the girls not to even think about what had happened. And in case either of them ever just happened to think about it anyway, she should say to herself that it was just imagination!

Their daughter looked at them and asked: “What shall I say to those who want to know why we had it in us to seem satisfied by that we had been defended by a friend of the family?”

Her father looked at her. “Is there anything they could happen to say to you that wouldn't be seen as that they make something of a notion that is just a fantasy?!”

She looked thoughtful for a while. “I guess not,” she answered, “but I can't be quite sure about that.

Now her mother was the one to ask: “I guess you can't have it they don't feel like being better at understanding how to be - even potential - friends - of you or anyone else around here, that that they might just continue feeling that it's real, even when you say it isn't?!”

“No, I guess they shouldn't be too stubborn for me to handle in a way that doesn't make me think about that stuff as a reality!” she said, and then hid that notion deeply inside of her.

Her mother looked at her and inquired: “Are you sure you never will be too unreliable to stay away from ever seeming to be into anything of what they could view as a real kind of vanity?”

“No, I'm not totally sure about that, mama!”

“Then I'll have to keep you away from those people who might find out from you otherwise!”

“And who are they?”

“It's the people I've been talking to down in the village. They aren't kids like you, and I don't think there are any kids who will ever become that nosy!”

“So I have to stay away from adults from now on?! Mom, I'm thirteen, and I'm soon into feeling like an adult myself! So how can I avoid even seeing those people that I soon will pertain to?!”

“It's not the young adults that you shouldn't pertain to, just some of the older ones, and I'll tell you eventually exactly which of the older ones that will be!”

“Oh! Good! Then I think I can manage!”

“Good, then!” her mother said.

“Good!” her father also said.

“From now now on you will not seem to be inept for excuses of the kind that are called for by those who forge that they comprehend, the right way, what there is to a society and what we all should appreciate from one another! That is you should not be wrong for God to take as a defence for His absoluteness about Jesus and what He stands for about us and our Christian cares! From now on you will be good Christians, and pray every day before you go to bed! Otherwise those things of the past might come and haunt you!”

She looked at her father. “Okay, dad! I'll become a good Christian from now on!” she said and realized that she would have to stick to this decision for the rest of her life.

Her friend, who had been silent for a long time now asked: “How come there isn't any certainties about what there is in the afterlife, so that one can feel very sure that one isn't doing something that will turn out to be unfruitful?!”

“I suppose,” the father objected, “you don't care to have it that Christ i sour saviour and that it will be that way no matter what we think or might say about it!”

The mother looked at them and added: “You must see to it that you'll be forever loyal with Christ, and that He'll be there for you to give you the safety you need!”

The two girls looked at each other. “I want to see to it that Christ will be there for all of us,” the one who wasn't a daughter of the family answered. “But I also want to see Him as the savior whom we all can trust, and I thereby want to be sure that he will give us an afterlife that will be okay!”

“I can,” the mother answered, “see it in you, to be able to take it that Jesus isn't the one to be telling everybody, just the one to be caring for everyone! Remember it is Satan who can otherwise be the ne to also talk to you as though there was a safe assumption!” She looked at her daughters friend and seemed to be sure of herself.

The girl swallowed. “Okay. I guess I can go for it that way, then. So where do I begin trying to conceive myself as a subject of Christ rather than the type of girl who never would feel there was any safety in what isn't said!?”

The mother looked at her. “Don't pretend that you don't need to believe in order to stay with Jesus!”

The two girls looked at each other again. “Then how come I and your daughter don't have it in Jesus to say to God that we need to be saved in a way so that we really can appreciate ourselves as safely His?! It's we, isn't it, who will have to appreciate God, and what if he doesn't have to appreciate us back?!”

Both of her friend's parents looked a bit startled over this query. She saw this and continued: Thereby I'll be platonically smart at having Jesus there, and I'll have the notion of myself as one with Him and God forever, but I won't be safe enough against the devil unless there can be a sureness that he cannot reach me even by taking my life!”

“It will be your decision to understand God the way that you feel you should have to!” the father said. “From now on you will have to speak to your own parents about it! We have had enough of this now! It is in your family, not ours, that there's a need to sort out what God wants from you!” His wife seemed to agree with him.